POSITIVE PARENTING TIPS BY: Syeda Amreen Alam (Counsellor)

18 Jul 2021

Positive parenting is a model that focuses on the positive aspects of behavior. In such kind of parenting there is unconditional positive regard. Positive parenting promotes parenting behaviors that are most essential for fostering positive youth development.

How does ‘positive parenting’ work? 
Instead of following harsh discipline and punishment for misbehaviour, positive parents focus on positive discipline. When a child misbehaves, the parent tries to focus on developing the desired behaviour rather than opting for punishing the child for bad behaviour. An advantage of this approach is that parents can work on desired behaviours at all times, not just when the child misbehaves.

Furthermore, studies have proven the benefits of positive parenting. A research project published in the ‘Journal of Clinical Adolescent Psychology’ showed that positive parenting led to much lower instances of childhood depression compared to harsher styles of discipline. The study also showed that parents who experienced harsh discipline as children had higher instances of mental health issues in adulthood. They were more likely to pass these problems on to their children. This study shows that positive parenting can affect multiple generations.

The Center for Disease Control and Prevention also points to the opportunities that positive parenting offers to teach children self-reliance and decision-making skills and to develop self-esteem.

Positive Parenting focuses on teaching children not just what but also why. It means training children toward self-control.

Some aspects of positive parenting are:
1.) There is transparent discussion between parents and children over rules and consequences laid out which needs to be followed.
2.) Parents encourage children in internalizing discipline in order to develop self-discipline rather than blindly following the rules to avoid punishment.
3.) Parents actively listens to the children to understand their thought-process so that there are no misunderstandings of logic.

Tips for parents to practice positive parenting:
· Be consistent and sensitive to your child’s need.
· Regulate open communication and always practice non-violent behavior.
· Provide Unconditional Positive Regard so that there is emotional security and warmth.
· Respect your child’s developmental stage and reward his\her accomplishments.
· Be caring and empowering and support child’s best interest.
· Set boundaries but guide and lead them to follow it.

There are certain benefits of positive parenting:
Positive parenting helps to develop stronger parent-child relationships. This approach to behavioral development increases trust between children and parents. The reason for this trust is that children have positive interactions with parents as a result of positive parenting. 
Communication is an essential part of positive parenting. Encouraging children to communicate can help develop a more trusting relationship. While many parenting tips focus on how to talk to children, being able to listen to your children and even encouraging them to talk about their feelings is a vital part of the positive parenting process.   
The focus on positive action, trust, and communication will lead to a greater level of happiness and help children develop a sense of self-esteem. The focus on encouragement and improvement instead of punishment and avoiding negative behaviours will children have a positive approach to life in general. 
Parenting can become a kind of power struggle with kids trying to get away with bad behaviour while avoiding punishment. Keep in mind that positive parenting still requires to set limits for the children. The difference is that rather than focusing on negative behaviour, parents offer positive alternatives to unwanted actions. In a sense, the positive behaviours and desired actions leave less room for negative behaviour.  

Parenting is very important. Effective parenting plays a vital role in whether a child becomes a productive member of society or not. When children receive the proper love and support, it helps the child develop properly and helps them to have the right mindset about life and its challenges. Proper parenting lets the child know what to expect out of life and how to deal with them as well. 
Parenting can be challenging regardless of the strategies for raising children. However, the effort that is put into positive parenting will be rewarded with positive results in the long term.